After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize