Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
