I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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