We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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