When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You are a genius and a whore.
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