So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
