Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
