So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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