ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
