Christians are straight up FREAKS
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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