lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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