I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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