so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize