Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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