I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
