So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
