there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
