I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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