talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I party with great urgency now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize