no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
