she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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