Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
