just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
