HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
