You can't motorboat a personality
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
