Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
