i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
high people should be assigned attendants
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
