He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
