I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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