i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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