Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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