carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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