can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
This toilet bowl is my home.
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