on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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