Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
