We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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