I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
