i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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