Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
