I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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