She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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