I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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