Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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