sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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