Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
