I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
