I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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