Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She's the barista slut.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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