It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
