dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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