So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there's paper in my vomit.
it was like eating out sand paper
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need a burrito and a hug.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
