I want to have your abortion
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
