i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
