Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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