"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
