I like to think it a success when the cops are called
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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