Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
