There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
