can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize