What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
