You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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