the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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